The cruel gas guzzling double standard

"AM3R" (AM3R)
12/16/2013 at 20:30 • Filed to: None

Well, I had a nice long first post planned out, and then my phone froze and deleted all of it. So instead, I'll give you this poorly written first official oppositelock post and cross my finger you guys don't make fun of me too bad in the comment section.

On paper the X5M seems like the better car, and don't ask me which one is becaue I've driven neither, I'm a student hooning a 328i and I can't even afford to let the supple leather of either cars touch my "peasent" ass. The Raptor definitely destroys the X5M in one major category, respect.

The Raptor has even been complimented by 335i owners, and those are the douchy E90 guys (no offense, don't kick me off E90post plz). I've never seen 335 owners talk nicely about a performance vehicle that weighs anything more than their E92s. The Raptor somehow managed to please them on a recent post on e90post and I was completely surprised.

In another post about SUVs, every 335i owner was ridiculing the OP for considering an SUV with performance capabilities ( X5M, Cayenne GTS, ML63) and suggested him to get a wagon, while some OTHER 335 guys trash talked wagons immediately afterwards.

The raptor someone has these negative Nelly's on the dark side, which baffles me. Both get abysmal fuel economy, one is focused solely off-road and the other on road, so why does one of them get so much hate?

DISCUSSION (70)

Shiarlis > AM3R
12/16/2013 at 20:29

Lemme help.

The X5M has 555 HP and500 foot pounds of torque. Those are nice big numbers. The Raptor has 411 HP and434 foot pounds of torque. Big, but smaller numbers. The X5M is constantly made fun ofby auto enthusiasts. If you remember Doug Demuro's post a while back it was even the picture for his article on "shittiest pieces of existence ever". On paper the X5M seems like the better car, and don't ask me which one is becaue I've driven neither, I'm a student hooning a 328i and I can't even afford to let the supple leather of either cars touch my "peasent" ass. The Raptor definitely destroys the X5M in one major category, respect. The Raptor has even been complimented by 335i owners, and those are the douchy E90 guys (no offense, don't kick me off E90post plz) I've never seen 335 owners talk nicely about a performance vehicle that weighs anything more than their E92s. The raptor somehow managed to please them on a recent post on e90post and I was completely surprised. In another post about SUVs, every 335i owner was ridiculing the OP for considering an SUV with performance capabilities ( X5M, Cayenne GTS, ML63) and suggested him to get a wagon, while some OTHER 335 guys trash talked wagons immediately afterwards. The raptor someone has these negative Nelly's on the dark side, which baffles me. Both get abysmal fuel economy, one is focused solely off-road and the other on road, so why does one of them get so much hate?

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > AM3R
12/16/2013 at 20:30

because the Raptor is a truck that works on road and even better off road, where as the X5M can only do one thing. Also, the Raptor looks like a Tonka truck come to life.

Aaron James > AM3R
12/16/2013 at 20:30

EDIT: KINJA!

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > AM3R
12/16/2013 at 20:30

I expected the X5M to somehow skip the gas guzzler tax or something while the raptor didn't. I read on. I was disappointed. "Car clubs still have cliques like high school" will answer your question. And that is all we need say about it. People will hold their opinion for as long as they want to, no matter how much you want them to change. Sometimes, pushing them to change reinforces why they should choose it - it pisses people off.

ghosty - electric space wizard > AM3R
12/16/2013 at 20:30

What on earth happened to your post?

Party-vi > AM3R
12/16/2013 at 20:30

This might be overstepping my bounds a bit but I re-saved your post so it would post like normal. Cheers.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > ghosty - electric space wizard
12/16/2013 at 20:32

That's the thing, it wasn't something on earth.....it was....

Kinja'd!!!

AM3R > Shiarlis
12/16/2013 at 20:32

Thanks! There's my first crucial mistake...

Tom McParland > AM3R
12/16/2013 at 20:32

Better than my first post...but just a tip desperate your paragraphs a little for easier reading. But overall well done :)

DasWauto > Party-vi
12/16/2013 at 20:32

Hah, I did the same. I also added some formatting.

snkscoyote > AM3R
12/16/2013 at 20:33

You can take the Raptor off-road (see the suspension travel, there?) and you can haul a refrigerator & stove off-road, you can jump, fly, and pull a trailer.

When anyone can find a trailer hitch on the X5M, be sure to take a picture.

The X5M is just a bloated sedan, that doesn't do anything well. It's not a good sedan, it's not a good truck, it just IS.

It's just a corpulent CEO chariot for a corpulent CEO.

ghosty - electric space wizard > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
12/16/2013 at 20:33

It got fixed I guess. Krazy Kinja. That should be Vettel's next cars' name.

AM3R > Party-vi
12/16/2013 at 20:33

Thanks! No clue what happend to it, could possibly be becaue I posted from my iPhone?

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > ghosty - electric space wizard
12/16/2013 at 20:34

I am holding out hope it is difficult to drive and he calls it "Bipolar Betty"

DasWauto > AM3R
12/16/2013 at 20:34

What did you use to write that second part of the post? Wondering because it got surrounded by a funny text box (some html that I don't understand).

Party-vi > AM3R
12/16/2013 at 20:35

No fuckin' clue.

AM3R > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
12/16/2013 at 20:35

It confused me too, I thought it was maybe becaue I posted from my phone but I'm really not sure what happend.

Party-vi > DasWauto
12/16/2013 at 20:35

*mod-bro-fist*

AM3R > DasWauto
12/16/2013 at 20:36

Nothing, typed it exactly as I typed the first paragraph of the post. Still not sure as to what happend

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > snkscoyote
12/16/2013 at 20:37

It does ridiculous quite well. Some people just want a rolling middle finger, you know? And besides, not many normal people expect the sheer savagery of cars like the X5M or that the cayenne GTS packs well over 400hp with a 6-speed manual. I have to be honest - I would track the shit out of a cayenne GTS with a 6-speed stick. If you track one of those beasts, it's pretty much hater-proof.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > AM3R
12/16/2013 at 20:37

I changed my comment after it was fixed.

dogisbadob > AM3R
12/16/2013 at 20:38

What year is your 328i?

The Raptor is an awesome, capable truck that can go 100 mph on sand, even if 99% of them are just driven to the mall.

The X5M is an obamanation.

DasWauto > AM3R
12/16/2013 at 20:39

I just figured you pasted it in from another app or something. Anyway, that's not something I've seen before. All I did to fix it was copy the text out of the thing that embedded itself and pasted it to match the style of the rest of the post.

AM3R > dogisbadob
12/16/2013 at 20:42

2007 sparkling graphite metallic. Love it!

And I will agree with you, the raptor is awesomely capable.

Chatham Harrison dba SPANFELLER DELENDUS EST > AM3R
12/16/2013 at 20:42

The X5M and its ilk gets so much hate because it is the one that is focused on-road. A road-oriented performance SUV is fundamentally flawed; Anything it is meant to do (haul stuff, haul 4 adults, do either with pace) a sedan or wagon can do more efficiently, faster and more engagingly. Theoretically, anyway. So even if it is remarkably powerful, its power is seen as wasted on a stupid platform. The Raptor, meanwhile, is an attempt to make a road-legal truck that can drive over sand dunes at highway speeds. Good luck making an M5 do that.

AM3R > Tom McParland
12/16/2013 at 20:42

Thanks! I appreciate it

snkscoyote > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
12/16/2013 at 20:42

Would still lose to an actual Porsche.

What's the point?

Tom McParland > AM3R
12/16/2013 at 20:43

Oh seperate not desperate your graphs...damn autocorrect.

AM3R > snkscoyote
12/16/2013 at 20:46

Having fun is the point. A majority of the people that I know spend time at tracks to have fun and be better drivers, not get the best times. (Although that's definitely not a bad thing either)

dogisbadob > AM3R
12/16/2013 at 20:48

oooo it sounds like it looks awesome!

Leadbull > AM3R
12/16/2013 at 20:48

The answer is functionality. Not-far-from-stock Raptors have run at Baja; X5/6 Ms can barely run up a hill. The Ford is purposeful. The BMW is not.

But in reality, they both get used for the same purpose:

THE MALL

Tom McParland > AM3R
12/16/2013 at 20:51

Oh one more tip, I always draft long posts in Google Docs first, auto save is awesome. :)

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > snkscoyote
12/16/2013 at 20:51

Fun. If lap times and numbers alone are your only metric for a car then I pity you.

The FR-S loses to pretty much everything else at the track, but it's a fun car to drive. I don't have fun driving it, but plenty of others do.

AM3R > Tom McParland
12/16/2013 at 20:53

I use google docs for most of my school assignments. Thanks for the tip! I probably shouldn't use my phone to type long posts anyways haha.

AM3R > dogisbadob
12/16/2013 at 20:55

Thanks! I'll try to get some pictures up on Friday if the weathers warm enough to wash it!

Tom McParland > AM3R
12/16/2013 at 20:55

Google Docs app for the phone :)

AM3R > Leadbull
12/16/2013 at 20:58

Can't argue with that last part. Saddest thing I've ever seen was a shiny Raptor crookedly parked on the line next to an X6M with HUGE chrome wheels on it about a week ago.. Inspired me to write this piece haha

AM3R > Tom McParland
12/16/2013 at 21:00

Downloading now :). Would you also happen to know how I can insert more than one picture in a post from my phone?

Tom McParland > AM3R
12/16/2013 at 21:02

There was a time when you could do that...now mobile Kinja is all borked.

PatBateman > AM3R
12/16/2013 at 21:30

As a Texan, I can say that anyone who drives a Raptor without getting it dirty once in a while is considered a poseur. Mall duty? Maybe. But ranches are numerous here, and most people have the opportunity to run the F150-from-hell/heaven the way they were meant to be.

While X5Ms are impressive beasts in their own right, those are the Mom-mobiles for the well-kept woman (or the wealthy man who wants speed but has too many kids in sports). I don't see the need to demean a vehicle just because it doesn't fit your personal lifestyle. Unless that car is a Prius.

All Priuseseses should die a horrible death at the hands of a pyromaniac car crusher operator.

snkscoyote > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
12/16/2013 at 21:45

You would have more fun in a Cayman than a Cayenne.

Unless your fun is rolling in an extended middle finger...

snkscoyote > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
12/16/2013 at 21:47

That's the point - it's a rolling middle finger. So why get upset when people react to the rolling middle finger adversely?

That's why you bought it.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > snkscoyote
12/16/2013 at 22:31

I know. That's what I'm saying. What I said in my own post is basically "You are asking why people have different opinions. Pushing really hard to tell someone their opinion is wrong will sometimes get people to do something just because it pisses you off"

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > snkscoyote
12/16/2013 at 22:32

Again, you are defining "fun" in terms of lap time. Who are you to tell someone what is and isn't fun? Do you enjoy driving off road and doing mud bogs? If so, then a properly made pickup would be more fun than a miata. But if you like road courses, the opposite would be true.

snkscoyote > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
12/16/2013 at 22:38

The X5M can't do either - but it's "supposed" to be an SUV.

It's not.

It's a bloated Sedan for people who have fun by waving the middle finger.

If that's your idea of fun, then don't be upset if you get a middle finger in return.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > snkscoyote
12/16/2013 at 22:46

My 1997 monte carlo was "supposed" to be just an el-cheapo FWD coupe. Turns out I can beat BMWs with it in an autocross. Bet you an X5M I could do the same with an X5M AND get middle fingers while doing it :P

Plus they NEVER advertised the X5M as an off road car. If you take it off road and wonder why it failed then that's your problem, not the car's.

Here's a question - why does it bother you that some people might buy the X5M? And don't parrot your "it doesn't do anything well" because clearly it has found some buyers who enjoy it. Wait let me rephrase my question here - Why does it bother you that some people enjoy the X5M?

snkscoyote > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
12/16/2013 at 22:49

No, an El Cheapo FWD coupe would be a Kia Coupe, Ford Fiesta, etc.

Monte Carlos were marketed as sporty cars.

The X5M is marketed as a Sport Utility Vehicle, without much Utility or Sport.

It doesn't bother me that they enjoy the car, but the whining is intolerable.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > snkscoyote
12/16/2013 at 22:55

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......yeah just stop talking now. The 1997 one I used might have been "advertised" as sporty, but it was a 3100 V6 equipped pile of excrement meant to float down highways for less than the price of an accord or camry. I owned one, it handled like shit, it could barely accelerate for shit, it got shit mpg unless I was fanatical about maintenance, and sounded like ass when I put the "exhaust" on it. I still loved that POS though. Greatest moment was still coming 9th out of somewhere around 45 drivers at a school autocross and beating a neon SRT-4, a 320i, a 328i, a 318i, multiple V6 pony cars (and a few V8 ones), and various other much "better" metal. And don't think I did a bunch of secret work to make it actually handle well. Good cars don't body roll like this (and look at the camber!) -

Kinja'd!!!

snkscoyote > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
12/16/2013 at 23:51

Was a lot better than a Hyundai Scoupe, Yugo, Geo Metro, etc.

Sorry, wasn't a Cheapo FWD. Price was comparable to a Mustang of the same year.

Why anyone would buy one over a Mustang, I don't know - Why anyone would try to autocross it- I don't know either. Both that car, the the Grand Prix, and other cars on that platform advertised they could beat a BMW on an autocross course.

They could, with sticky rubber.

Maybe you just wanted to lift the middle finger...

Saracen > AM3R
12/17/2013 at 02:24

The Raptor is a truck, goes about doing truck-y things, and is completely honest about it.

The X5 M is a poseur machine. It is stupid. If it were a wagon it would have superior performance (even with less power), and have much better handling, without sacrificing practicality and will have superior mileage.

No double standard here.

Maxaxle > AM3R
12/17/2013 at 12:16

Not double standard, it's just that CUVs are seriously not great at all.

getchapopcorn > AM3R
12/17/2013 at 14:31

I'm cool with people not liking a car but when people just hate on them it's a tad bit ridiculous. If it gives its owner a smile, what the hell should anyone else say? Gets on my nerves sometimes.

Additionally, I get why you used the picture you did, but I'm pretty surprised no one came around and said that was an X6M in your picture.

AM3R > getchapopcorn
12/17/2013 at 14:48

I know it's an X6M haha.. In my original post I mentioned both but that post got deleted so i didn't really want to have to search for another picture

getchapopcorn > AM3R
12/17/2013 at 15:26

Haha, I knew you had, and I was sure you did know. I was just saying I'm surprised no one came out and said that. I'm pretty happy that the Oppo land trolls seems to be become ever more rare (not that they weren't rare to begin with).

AM3R > getchapopcorn
12/17/2013 at 18:32

Yeah I can't even lie I completely expected that to be the first comment and it getting starred 50+ times ruining my self esteem/oppo career

Tom Bennett > AM3R
12/17/2013 at 23:10

Did you see Clarkson on the subject of the X6?

AM3R > Tom Bennett
12/18/2013 at 14:49

I sure did. It was really funny haha but it's not exactly the most fair review on the X6

Tom Bennett > AM3R
12/18/2013 at 15:17

No! Of course not... but Clarkson's magic is in thinking/acting like a 9 year old boy when the rest of us can't. :-)

AM3R > Tom Bennett
12/18/2013 at 16:24

Exactly! If a car company wants to really make a great car, they need to hire a bunch of 15 year olds to test it out and THEN they'll know what's wrong

TheCraigy > AM3R
12/18/2013 at 23:19

Well the problem is that you're giving a shit about what a bunch of 335i owners have to say.

I mean, seriously, a bunch of guys who spent extra money to get the top of the line cheap bimmer that still have an inferiority complex when an m3 passes by.

TheCraigy > AM3R
12/18/2013 at 23:19

Well the problem is that you're giving a shit about what a bunch of 335i owners have to say.

I mean, seriously, a bunch of guys who spent extra money to get the top of the line cheap bimmer that still have an inferiority complex when an m3 passes by.

EtrnL_Frost > Chatham Harrison dba SPANFELLER DELENDUS EST
12/18/2013 at 23:25

In the same vein, but different take - the X5M doesn't express a purity of form that the Raptor does. Plain and simple.

The X5M is what happens when you force a role onto a platform that it's not designed for. The Raptor expresses nothing but unashamed naked purity in its purpose - it's a truck meant to be a truck in the best truckiest way.

Chatham Harrison dba SPANFELLER DELENDUS EST > EtrnL_Frost
12/19/2013 at 00:50

The X5M is kinda like a knork made from high-quality sword steel and honed to a razor's edge. Sure, it'll cut the hell out of whatever you use it on, but it's still not as pleasant to use as your average pocket knife.

GrauGeist > AM3R
12/19/2013 at 02:14

I just like that the picture is actually an X6 M , the X5 M's better-looking younger brother.

Kinja'd!!!

X6 FTW. Such a handsome fastback.

AM3R > GrauGeist
12/19/2013 at 07:30

Yeah, I'm a fan of the styling of the X6. I couldn't find a picture of an X5M with a raptor so this is all I could find haha

AM3R > TheCraigy
12/19/2013 at 09:10

You're actually helping prove my point. 335i owners hate anything that's remotely better than their cars.. "Yeah your M3 might be much better than my car, but I can tune it and run meth and destroy you!!!!!!!!1!!1!!!1!!!!" That's why it's significant that they actually said good things about the raptor.

TheCraigy > AM3R
12/19/2013 at 10:25

That's what it seems like!

So you're more upset that they say good things about the raptor, and less upset that they hate on the X5M? :)

AM3R > TheCraigy
12/19/2013 at 15:00

No it's not like that. Think of it like this, both are great performance cars, just performing different things but both inefficiently and with a high price tag. One of them gets hated on by every enthusiast, the other gets praised.

After reading this reply it kind of makes me sound like an asshole haha..

TheCraigy > AM3R
12/19/2013 at 15:52

You don't sound like an asshole. You know who are assholes, though? People who hate on the X5M. I'm not saying I'd get one, but I love me some extra ground clearance for the added safety and occasional floods. Wagons can't offer that.

Now the X6, ugly as sin.....

AM3R > TheCraigy
12/19/2013 at 18:56

Can't agree with you more, except I don't hate the X6's styling. It's do different and crazy, they look hideous in every picture, but if you see one in person they look much LESS hideous.